Jan 26 2010
A Story About Relationships
Two girlfriends, Lilly and Molly, took a bike ride, and traversed unknown terrain, down a mud street that led to God knows where and a bunch of cow fields- what an adventure! The whole way, of course Lilly being who she is, made the analogy of their bike ride to being in a relationship.
The path started out with direction and purpose; it was a freshly paved road through grass field, and they could see evidence of further construction ahead. So off they began, excited for the adventure ahead.
Mind you, Lilly and Molly could not see but several yards ahead all the way. At a point about half a mile down, Molly was disappointed and hesitated. “This is what this lead to?” Lilly, on the other hand, thought about the possibilities but did question the functionability and sense of what they were about to do.
It was an unfinished road, full of red mud and tire tracks… (and construction equipment which they were tempted to climb in and try to play in- can you imagine two girls riding around in bulldozers and road-rollers?!)
At one point, Lilly and Molly were dodging bullets- some strange figures way out in the middle of a field were shooting pistols, and they weren’t entirely sure they weren’t aiming at themselves. They wondered if they should duck, dig a hole, or run!
On this muddy terrain, Molly had to get off a couple times and walk her bike. Lilly wondered, “If someone is going faster than the other, should one stop and wait for them, or keep going at their capable pace?” Her answer to herself was that “It depends on your purpose- you decided to do this with Molly, so wait for her even though she’s not going as fast as you.” So Lilly waited for Molly.
At one point, Molly was faster than Lilly, and she waited for Lilly as well, as she plummeted down a hill faster than her.
They both assessed the situation (briefly) and decided to press on. They rode part of the way, and when their tires were stuck and mired in mud, they had to walk it, but they kept going. Part of the way they were excited to see what was ahead, and as the going got tough, AND they couldn’t see what was ahead, they did question the culpability of what they were doing. But Molly and Lilly kept going.
When they got to the end of that muddy road, they were covered with muck, but felt a sense of accomplishment. They were also, simultaneously, met with another predicament- the End, or what they thought was the end, was not really the end. The road led to a huge diversion in which they both could see how the road planners wanted it to be, but it was just a plum mess. Fields of cows, muddy tracks, holes filled with water, construction equipment, and not much of a choice between going left or right. But there was a choice, ultimately.
They stood there for a bit, and this Robert Frost poem started reciting through Lilly’s head, “The Road Not Taken”:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
So of course, Lilly and Molly took the craziest, nonsensical, dysfunctional way possible- down the muddiest, chasm-filled, cow-infested pathway possible. They supposed they wanted adventure and challenge, or a headache and backache- not sure which. So on they went.
And went…
And went…
As they went another mile or so (and still could not see what was ahead ever), they rounded a corner and it appeared that the path spiraled around to back where they started! But they kept going, and to their delight, the path kept going, winding through some woods and past more cows- not quite a road at this point at all.
At the next junction, they stopped dead in their tracks. Muddy water everywhere- it looked like wasteland. They seriously questioned whether they should turn back NOW. Lilly said, “But if we turn back, we have to go through all of that again, and we know where it goes. But if we keep going, this has to lead somewhere…I want to see it to the end.” Molly agreed but wasn’t so sure. With some thought and hesitation they both decided, “We’ve gone this far, no turning back now.”
They picked their way through the wasteland that was one day supposed to be a beautiful paved road- Someone had purpose in all of this, Lilly thought. “I hope it’s worth it…”
About another mile of hell, and again they stopped in their tracks, because right around another bend it all ended…
Before them was a beautifully paved road beginning from out of no-where and all the sudden. It felt so good to be on smooth ground, to ride freely without having to strategize and think so hard about what they were doing. They were free!
And then another surprise- as they rode further, they saw what appeared to be a mirage. But it wasn’t- it was like Sim City… a HUGE shopping center with every store imaginable in the distance. In the middle of no where. It looked so strange but so appealing at the same time, because by then they were parched- hungry, dehydrated and thirsty, somewhat ready for a rest.
The whole bike ride was 12 miles, and the whole way, they didn’t know where they were going or where it would end…like relationships!
Several times Molly and Lilly were tempted to turn around, and questioned if they should keep going. But they did, and they found peace and solace amidst the chaos.
This is the way of relationships- Were they to keep going, even though they can’t see ahead, can’t see where the path leads, and have to traverse through arduous and unknown terrain? And while testing their worst virtue ever… patience?
The best things in life are worth the sweat and tears (and mud!), and are worth fighting for… But both in the relationship have to be willing…Molly and Lilly decided to take it on together, and they both waited for each other at strategic points. And they ended up strong in the end.
The End (sort of).
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